Weight Loss Holy Grail

hi james,

some dude on the 'net has emailed me saying he's got the holy grail for
weight loss. i'm a bit worried about the loss of gravity having side
effects. what should i do?

james.

hi james,

firstly, you rightly should be worried about the consequences of
removing the force of gravity from the universe. it's a very risky
business. no one really knows what might happen, perhaps another force
will take its place. imagine being electrocuted at every step you take,
or each and every time you perform any action which would otherwise be
opposing the force of gravity. not a pretty thought i think you'll
agree.

cheers,
james.


hi james,

thanks for your insightful response. i'm starting to think however you
may have jumped the gun a bit there. i don't think the dude on the 'net
has it in his power to remove the force of gravity from the
xixnxtxexrxnxextx universe, since mailing him back and enquiring
for more information about it. he claimed gravity would only be removed
from my immediate vicinity. he seemed to imply i would be within my
very own gravity-free bubble. of course now i am wondering how my
gravity-free bubble would interact with gravity, for example i wouldn't
really want to float off into space, as much of fantastical trip as it
would be, i don't fancy testing gravity-free bubbles in the silent
vacuum of deep space :-/

thanks for your help thus far,
james.


hi james,

believe it or not james, you're not the first person to contact me
worrying over the consequences of existing in a gravity free bubble.
again no one really knows what the consequences may be, at least,
no one does outside of top secret government research labs and
criminal underworld research labs. i would strongly advise you to
steer clear of these dangerous weight loss programmes, and instead try
and somehow trick the rest of the world's population into mass weight
gain so that you don't have to change yourself in order to feel slim.

regards,
james.


my dear james,

i shall never know how you came to be in a position to profer advice.
tricking the rest of the world's population into mass weight gain is
the most proposterous idea i have ever encountered as a way of
achieving weight loss. you should be ashamed of yourself. do not
contact me again.

james.

james,

please allow me to appologise, i did not mean for you to take offense
at my suggestion, many other people have taken exactly the same advice
and achieved weight loss. why do you think there are so many obese
people in the world?

regards,
james.

james,

i frankly also find your last message offensive so please do not under
any circumstances ever contact me again, despite the fact we are one
and the same person. i refuse to take any further part in this
conversation.

regards,
james.


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"Weight Loss Holy Grail"

Alternative ideas for weight loss.

Journal entry - 21:49 Sunday 20 July 2014

DISCLAIMER: The opinions and attitudes of James W. Morris as expressed here in the past may or may not accurately reflect the opinions and attitudes of James W. Morris at present, moreover, they may never have.

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