Today I attempted to read an article on Mute, an online magazine who "...gladly feast on those who would subdue us" titled Epistemic Panic and the Problem of Life.

After reading the first sentence of the fifth paragraph ("This image of the fragile and naked human-animal...") I decided I should probably find a definition of 'epistemic' because I didn't really have any idea beyond a vague notion that it means 'something to do with knowledge or something'.

So I found I struggled understanding much of what the article was talking about. By the sixteenth paragraph I was still having dificulty but had been picking up enough up pieces here and there to make it worth while. Things began to look up for me half way through this big paragraph when I read

"Indeed news stories - the paradigmatic form of the story's informationalisation - are comprised of recomposable and self-contained information units that, when brought together, usually seem to lack something. The real reason for the prison riot is lost in a welter of detail about how many emergency staff were at the scene, how many helicopters deployed, until what time the prison was under lock-down, how much the clean up operation cost etc. We are left clueless as to what the riot blew up out of, how it actually started, what it changed, who were its winners and losers, what its consequences were."

Obviously I completely ignored the word 'haecceity' in the preceding sentence (with it being completely foreign to me) but I managed to scrape together a blob of blurry fudged meaning for it which instantly fell off and rolled out of sight. Having now consulted the dictionary I can confirm that the lost blob of meaning (which I just caught another wee glimpse of before it performed a scuttled retreat) was not nearly on the mark at all.

I started having problems again at the end of this big long sixteenth paragraph, stumbling over the word 'concomitant' which is a little embarrassing, but what can I say, it's not a word I come across in my everyday life in a factory as an injection moulding machine operator. The Collaborative International Dictionary of English uses words such as: accompany, companon, conjoined, attending. So perhaps it actually is quite a pertinent word for use at the factory regarding the machine operator.

My illusion of possibly gaining a good grasp of the meaning of the article was soon shattered by the start of paragraph seventeen:

"The shattering of the storyteller into multiple guarantors of facticity is linked to modern democracy's conversion of the popular body into the basis of sovereignty. The single, divine body of the sovereign is banished and replaced by a collectivity of bodies, represented and unified in the form of a contingent and proxy sovereign."

The trajectory of my understanding more or less plummeted with the scarcity of its glimpses increasing. Yes I find it quite easy to believe that the idea of the obscelesence of the human being regarding labour and production is an illusion. But that might have something more to do with the fact all the factories I've ever worked in have used machines on their last legs, supported on the crutches of a maintenance schedule of fix-only-when-broken and due to this, produce products that need the human hand to finish.

I finished reading the article in a blur, trying to get it over with, hoping to find one more glimpse to confirm I might know of, or have an insight into, something intellectual.

Afterwards, thinking about it for a short while I decided I needed to write a few notes about it, and something else that had been in my mind the past couple of days. Of course, not on paper, it had to be done on my tablet using a notes app which I had used on other devices. It wasn't on this one so had to install it. I wanted an app which didn't require network access, nor was unnecessarily large, and found one under 200kb, perfect.

But by then I had completely forgotten what I had wanted to write; and over the space of fifteen minutes managed only to write:

Just installed this app but can't remember what I was going to write in here!

Vague notions of the meaning of words doesn't help when reading articles about epistemology.

I was feeling tired then, not too much, not like now. I cycled from work in Ramsgate to Sandwich and from there past Richborough castle and Chandler and Dunns to my parents in Stourmouth. I picked up bicycle bears in Sandwich and and bearing removal tool at my parents. I discovered the tool bit into the alluminium mountain bike frame more than it removed the bearings. I'm very tired now. On my way home from my parents, I found I wasn't dressed warmly enough for cycling and stopped in the car park opposite the Dog and Duck at Plucks gutter to put on some knee warmers. Coming over the bridge I felt a car approach slowly and it was Karly who stopped and brought us home together with bike in back of car.

Started constructing a extension to the rabbit house today. A rabbit run, for the rabbits to run in, while we are not around to keep an eye on them.

I've built a frame 160x75x75cm which butts up against their existing home. Tomorrow I will build a lid, and the next day maybe attach the wire mesh to prevent their escape. They are domesticated rabbits unlike those frequently seen on the ground shown is these photographs. The domesticated rabbits and I live in coastal town. This is a rural village.

Large

Rocker arm bearings     19m
  small: 626-2RS    -   M6
  large: 608-2RS    -   M8
            22mm

seat stay bearings  | (QR end)
          19mm dia  |
        698 - 2ZZ   +   M8
____________   ||   |
6 | single row ||   2RS
  |            ||   double sealed
  |             |   (rubber sealed)
  |              Z2
6 |2/0/9/         double shielded
   | | |
   +-+-+- light
     | |
     +-+- extra light
       |
       +- very thin section

Large

Large

626 x2
608 x2
698 x4
---+
626|626 LLB - ABEC 3
    EB8061  £3.19
        x2
---
608 LLB - ABEC 3
    EB8068  £1.59
        x2
---
698 LLB - ABEC 3
    EB8066  £2.89
        x4

MRSP £21.12

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Large

here we go again. i'm writing something here. if my website is anything like my youtube channel then no one's paying any attention and...

here we go again... hesitating... tired again... sat at computer while tired again... everything's fairly pointless... all my endeavours that is! pffff what's the point?

here we go again... what's the point of programming... when nobody will use it? when nobody is interested? and who can blame them when there's better tools out there? more advanced tools with better user interfaces and better sound quality and greater flexibility, etc etc etc. despite all the hard work i put in.

despite all my hard work at these things, once i'm out of the zone... when i get in the zone producing these things... when i'm there, my mind is focused on that alone... locked down... problems tackled... struggled with... interrupted by work... surmounted... interrupted by work... constantly interrupted by work... when a problem is solved i feel i've done good, that i'm worth something. really! its very satisfying. i feel like i've achieved something... then the struggle continues... my grip loosens... i don't have enough time any longer... i'm doing other things... to my bike... interruptions by work... too much else to do...

Here we go again! It's slipped my grasp, I feel down at heel. No one stars the code, no one follows the progress. Two people ask questions and I answer and hear no more...This all energy sucking hobby... Cycling to work? No! Coding! You mean cycling to work? No! Cycling to coding? No coding to cycle to code? Work? No errors? Warnings? Extra wall? Pfffff.

I get out the zone, can't see how I could have got into it. It all seems shoddy anyway. All my output. If it was that great, would it feel so utterly pointless? I wonder what I could do if I were doing it for a living? The progress I could have made. The lost potential. The waste of time that is my job. If only they paid me to do what I want instead of that waste of time job. Stand by machine. Plug machine into ears. Listen to machine made music. Blot out surroundings. Set self to auto-pilot. Work as a machine in partnership with a machine. Await the one break time. Await the shift end. Pity me. Pity me. Poor fool that I am.

Await shift end. Cycle home. Cycle to work. Cycle machine. Cycle home. Cycle computer. Cycle for loop. Cycles cycle cycle..............

// while some people
#include <cstdio>

// others
#include <cstring>

// and for some
class does_nothing { // singular in
  public: // as class is
    static // and
     void at_all() // costs.
       // though, speaking personally,
        { static does_nothing but_make_me_real; }
  // and in
  private: // to say class
    does_nothing() {
      while (0);
        }};
        const//ant
         char*//m
          does_it(
           "for the ordinary person");
            // is to fool yourself.

// when
class ee_people { // in the
  public: // eye.

// s
    ee_people(const // antly
    char* //med by those who
    are_classy) : // it's not
    manners(0) { // that kill.
    // it's the smaller
        size_t red_lentils;

    so: if // people
          (!are_classy // and choke on
           ||!(red_lentils = strlen(are_classy)))
            return;// the red lentils.
    but: if // too many
         (!(manners = // require
           new char[red_lentils + 1]))
            return;// asking
            // what kind of society do we live in?

    state: strcpy(manners, are_classy);
            // but extraneous in contemporary society.
    };

  // bizz
    ~ee_people() { delete [] manners; }

    const // ant
     char* // ming of the
      operator() // leaves a
       (void) // in the heart, so
        { always: return // it with
                    manners; }

    int // egrity of the
     operator() // is always under
      (const // ant threat, so
        char* // ge out,
         maybe) // or as i said before,
          { always: return // with
                strcmp(manners, maybe?


 maybe: // just
  maybe); } // in
  private: // there's some people who
    char* // t the evolution of
      manners;
};

// true to
typedef
 class ee_people
  // attract more
   classy_people;

// but for me, and my
typedef
 class does_nothing
  // so I
   do_nothing;
    // to aid it.


template <class // learn social skills!
                // part time course available!
                // full time funding for overseas students!


// knowing
 ONE//s
  > class is {
// important, in
  public: // but ask a stranger if "
    is(ONE & done): nicely( // ?" and one is
                  done) { // much disservice by
                  // the automatic
                  response: //"
                    nicely(does_it); } //"

    const // antly increasing
     char* // ges come not from un-
      caring( // management, but from
       const // ant interference from the
        char* latans) // of finance.
    { // but with
        static // in the air, and zero
        int egrity = 0;
        for (const//ant
              char* mmers = //or
               (const//ant
                char*)latans;
            // it all si
                        mmers != '\0';
            // and it all si
                        mmers++) { // but
            if (// you see gli
                             *mmers == ' ') {
                // of hope,
                increase_your_int: egrity++; // and
                return // those gli
                                   mmers++; }}}
// but in
  private:
    ONE & // does things
        nicely; // only if one
            // wants to, that is.
};


int main(int argc, char** argv)
{
    classy_people about("me turn up their noses.\n");
    // when i say
    classy_people are_rich_and(
     "act with all our best interests at heart.");

    // but i jest!

    // if i
    printf("classy people %d\n",
     are_rich_and("and"));
      do_nothing::at_all();
       // on paper with a printer,
        // and stick it on a wall.

    // or question with a
    printf( // asking
     "class: %s\n", does_it);
      do_nothing::at_all(); // ?

    // then what?

    // but when i ask
    is // the pomp of
     <classy_people>
     // really all they
      are(about);//?

    // they all respond with a
    printf("on paper %d\n",
        about("the upper class:\n"));
    // saying
    we: are.caring("people just like you, so just make "
                   "sure it's not you who's all aloof "
                   "and distant when looking through the "
                   "eyes of an ordinary person, and leave "
                   "us to worry about ourselves!\n");

    // but when the bonuses come in, it's all soon forgoten,
    // and people like me, we
    return // with
     0;
}

#include <cstdlib>
#include <iostream>
 // the leap
  // the leap
long int mane(void) {
    // it's catchy if you're roboid
        return (long int)(&mane); }
        // the leap
int main(int argc, char** argv) { // throwing shapes out of the place
    int k = 1;
    for (long int i = 1; k < 100; ++i, ++k) {
        long int n = 0;
        std::cout << i << " " << (!(k % 10) ? "\n" : "");
        if ((i + 1) % 2 == 0) {
            continue; break; continue; break;   // brake spontaneously
            break; continue; break; continue;   // spontenously brake
            continue; break; continue; break;   // brake spontaneously
            break; continue; break; continue;   // spontenously brake
            continue; break; continue; break;   // brake spontaneously
            break; continue; break; continue;   // spontenously brake
            continue; break; continue; break;   // brake spontaneously
            break; continue; break; continue;   // spontenously brake
            continue; break; continue; break;   // brake spontaneously
            break; continue; break; continue;   // spontenously brake
            continue; break; continue; break;   // brake spontaneously
            break; continue; break; continue; }
        else {
 /* the short of it */ long int c = ++i; ++i = c; {
  /* the short of it */ long int i = ++c; ++c = ++i; ++i = ++c; ++c = ++i; {
   /* the short of it */ long int c = i; i = c; c = i; i = c; {
    /* the short of it */ long int i = (c ? ++c : --c);
     /* the short of it */ long int c = (i ? ++i : --i); {
      /* the short of it */ long int i = (c + i) % 3;
       /* the short of it */ long int c = (i + c) % 4;
                            n = (c ? c : i); }
                        i &= mane();
                        n = i; }
                    i += ++n; n += ++i; i += ++n; n += ++i; }
                i &= mane();
                n = i; }
            i += ++n; n += ++i; i += ++n; n += ++i; }
        i &= mane();
        continue; break; continue; break;
        continue; break; return -1; exit(0); }
    std::cout << std::endl;
    return k; }


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Code, no longer my abode,
Says who but a toad,
I offload at the end of the road,
Loam,
Knowledge is but foam,
Well, I'm free to roam
But instead go home,
And stare at mono spaced fonts on an LCD.